


Pancakes and Corn

by Septic84



Series: PFF Bingo 2019 [2]
Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: M/M, Other, Post-Dan and Phil World Tour 2018: Interactive Introverts, Self-Indulgent, Self-Insert
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-28
Updated: 2019-09-28
Packaged: 2020-10-30 00:33:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,184
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20805566
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Septic84/pseuds/Septic84
Summary: Two best friends run into Dan and Phil at a vulnerable time after one of their performances.





	Pancakes and Corn

Interactive Introverts was amazing, it was one of the coolest things I had been a part of and I was still in awe that I even was able to attend. My best friend was the only reason I could, so for my birthday (That happened a few days after), she drove us to the show. We were on the way back to where we were staying when we decided to stop at a gas station. I made no particular note of the bus that was parked in the back, or the group of people who were standing near it, as I walked into the station. 

I was tired, I was not used to things like this, in fact, this was the only “show” I had ever really gone too. We were 4 hours from home, two from where we were staying and It was way past my bedtime. I was tired, but the excitement kept me alert. 

“You gonna make it?” She asked me.  
“Of course, I am fricken zazzed!” She laughed at me. 

“My wallet is on the bus,” I heard a familiar voice say.  
“Well, so is mine you spoon, doesn't anyone else have theirs?” 

“I don't know! We all just kind of ran out of the bus, remember?” 

My best friend cocked an eyebrow at me as I rounded the corner and saw both Dan and Phil standing there, bickering. 

“Is that-?” she whispered as I cut her off. 

“Yes, shh.” 

They looked tired, flustered and lost. (like tired flustered and lost giraffes of course, because with us both being about 5'0, they were giants.) 

“We need to figure something out Phil, you need to eat.” 

“I know.” He said dryly. 

Suddenly my mind was made up. I felt like I was going to throw up but still I approached them. 

“Hey, maybe we shouldn't,” my best friends voice echoed behind me. 

“Hello,” I said as I approached them. 

“Hello,” Dan responded, his voice was tense. He had immediately changed his tone as he noticed my Manchester shirt. "How are you?" 

“Hey.” Phil forced a smile. 

“Sounds like you're having some trouble?” I asked, my voice embarrassingly went up two octaves, my best friend snickered behind me. I turned to her. “Shut up.” 

Phil smirked 

Dan sighed and quietly thought for a moment, looking between Nola and I. “The carbon dioxide detector went off in the bus. They can't tell if we are in grave danger or if it's a malfunction. They have a tech on their way now, but as it is,” Dan checked his phone “10:30 Pm on a Friday, it may take a while.” Dan sighed. 

“Yikes.” 

“Yes, we left everything on the bus,” Phil said. 

“I can help. May I get you something? Pop, coffee or water? Anything?” 

“Oh, no. That's okay, we will be fine.” Phil said rushed, Dan didn't look so convinced. 

“Listen, it's no trouble. Honestly.” 

Dan again glanced at my shirt. “No, we really shouldn't bother you. But it was nice for you to ask.” 

It was my shirt, they felt uncomfortable because I was one of their viewers. I guess I could see that. Well, it was time for a change then. "Can you wait here a sec?” I asked 

“There are too many bugs outside right now, so this is where we will be,” Dan responded. “Yep, summer in Wisconsin. Bugs and road construction.” I said. “Excuse us, please.” I pulled my best friend over to the side. “Keys!” 

“Okay?” She handed them to me, still confused. 

“Go make small talk” 

“What? Why me? You're an asshole. You are the one that is obsessed with them!” 

“Exactly. I have to go to your car; I'll be right back.” Nola was very patient with me, she wasn't really their fan, I just pulled her along for the ride. She had listened to me "fangirl" so much over Dan and Phil, I am sure I was annoying. I couldn't help it, I think she understood that and tolerated me. I started my way towards the door. 

“Really?” I heard as I exited the building. 

I went to the back of her small SUV and found my bag. In the dark, in the back seat, I hurried to take off my shirt and switch it with the flannel that I had, rolling up the sleeves. I took off all jewelry that was cat whisker themed. I wiped off most of my makeup and undid my hair so now it was in a messy bun like usual. Hopefully, now I looked like a normal person and not a fan. 

I walked back in to find my best friend doing her best to fulfill my request. 

“Hi,” I said as if we had never spoken. “I really respect both of you and I understand you may be uncomfortable, so let's start over. My name is Avery, this is my best friend, Nola. We are not local around here either, but we live in this state. We are over 18, way over.” 

“Hey!” Nola exclaimed. 

“What? It's true, isn't it? We are.” 

“Oh my God, Av, you make us sound like we are 50!” 

“Shh!” I turned back to them, “Anyway, it seems like you are in a circumstance that requires assistance.” I pulled out my wallet. “In this neck of the woods, we help when we can. Well, we do anyway. You can act like you don't know that we know who you are, relax and let me,” 

“Us!” Nola protested 

“Okay, us, help you. Let's just be people, not involve your “jobs” in it. Yeah? I can handle that. My job doesn't come into play when I meet new people or when I need help. So, gents, what will it be? You look exhausted Are you hungry?” 

Phil glanced at Dan; Dan glanced at Phil. “Ah, can we have a second?” 

Nola laughed through her nose softly. “Of course.” She pulled me closer to the front of the store. “You do realize what you are doing, right?” 

“Trying to help?” 

“No, not that. I am used to that. I know you. You are probably breaking some “tour” code or rule. This could be a PR nightmare if it were to go south. They probably are worried or scared.” 

“Of us?” I asked incredulously laughing loudly. “Two chubby thirty-somethings in a gas station at 11:00 PM? Oh boy, so scary! It's not like we are intoxicated, either. That would have bad news written all over it. We are in Wisconsin, not LA.” I shook my head 

“But still, Av. They are from London. Do you see a tall building here? No, you don't. You see orange cones and cornfields. I bet their manager would hate this.” 

“Well, I don't see her anywhere, so maybe she isn't here?” 

“Maybe not, but-” 

“Ladies?” Dan called. I spun around; Dan was right next to me. 

“Jesus Christ!” I screamed as I jumped. 

“Ah, sorry.” 

Nola at this point was beside herself laughing. She knew how jumpy I was. If I didn't love her so much, I would disown her. 

“Oh, hardy har har, Nol, I got scared, big surprise." I turned to Dan. “It's fine, I'm jumpy.” 

“So, we have decided to take you up on your hospitality.” 

I smiled. “Thank you! So, here's the next hard question.” I glanced at Nola, “Do you want to get food and things here or did you want to go to an actual restaurant. I saw A Perkins a few miles down the road. They are 24 hours.” she glared at me, I had just volunteered her to take us all to a restaurant. I knew really she didn't mind, but at the moment, she wasn't too thrilled with the sudden offer and change in plans. 

“Um,” Phil said. He seemed like he was not sure about this newly introduced idea, either. 

“I know this is all weird.” Nola offered. “Honestly, we are just trying to help.” I guess she wasn't too mad at me. 

“What she said. Yeah, this is strange, I know you don't know us, but I could, like give you my driver's license? So, like you can see I am who I say?” Phil didn't seem to relax. “Hey, Mr. Lester? It's gonna be okay. I swear.” 

Dan laughed “Mr. Lester?” 

“Well, I don't really know you, so I figured....” 

“Oh my god, they are adorable Phil!” Phil shook his head smiling but seemed to agree. Much to Nola's chagrin. 

“We are not!” she protested. 

“Hey, speak for yourself!” I retorted. 

“Not the time, Avery.” She said through clenched teeth. I could tell Nola was getting uncomfortable. So could Dan. 

“Please, Dan and Phil,” Dan replied softly. 

“Okay, Dan and Phil, do you guys want to go and get food or eat gas station food?” Nola asked, still a little annoyed. “Avery gets very hangry; we haven't eaten for hours. It's going to get nasty soon.” 

“Hey!” I protested. “I am not that bad!” 

“Um, sure.” Nola patted my arm “It's okay.” 

Dan smirked. “Phil won't admit it, either.” 

Phil rolled his eyes. “Can we take security with us?” Dan sideways glanced at him. 

“I figured you would. You don't know us. I could still give you my ID.” I said, trying not to roll my eyes. “I mean I get it, who the hell knows what could be lurking in the depths of a Perkins at 11:00 PM sandwiched between cones, hayfields, and corn.” 

“Uh oh, it's starting,” Nola said. “It's almost too late. The hangry beast is about to make its debut.” 

“No, it's not. I wasn't trying to be rude; I was being serious... Or at least trying to be.” I protested. She ignored me. 

“It's going to get worse before it gets better. So, go get your bodyguards and meet us out at the red SUV under pump 14. We will wait.” Nola smiled and pulled my arm leading me away. We paid for the items we needed and went back out to the car. 

“Gee thanks, Nol. Way to make me look like a baby.” 

“I didn't want you to embarrass yourself. You are hangry right now, Av. Just accept it. I also was trying to make them more comfortable.” She sighed. “Oh yeah, thanks for just leaving me with them while you changed by the way. I had to make small talk. You KNOW I hate that. Also, for volunteering me to go out to dinner with your favorite YouTubers. Like, not awkward at all right?” 

“I love you, Nola. Thank you.” 

“Yeah, Yeah. I hope they don't mind a messy back seat if they are riding with us. I am sure there are fruit loops and toys all over.” 

I smirked. 

“Also, holy hell they are tall.” 

“Yeah, they are.” 

“The things I do for you, I swear.” 

“You are the best friend ever.” 

After about 10 minutes they approached with a bodyguard that looked like he could kill us with his thumb. 

“Holy shit, look at captain buff there,” I said. 

“He makes them look small; he makes us look like ants.” 

I opened the door and smiled. 

“Okay,” Phil said, “This is Hank, part of our security team. He has to ride with us.” 

“Hello, Hank.” 

“May I see your identifications, please?” He asked, formally. This dude was intimidating. 

“Sure,” I got out my license and handed it to him, Nola did the same. 

“Good. This is good.” He turned to Dan and Phil. “We are okay with this,” 

As they got into the vehicle, it was a tight squeeze, Hank was sat in the middle. 

“There is surprisingly a lot of legroom,” Phil said to Dan as if he didn't recall the circumstance at hand. 

“You are lucky we are short,” Nola said, glancing in the rearview. 

Dan picked up a stuffed rabbit on the floor. 

“That's Mr. Fluffy pants. He and my youngest have had a bit of a falling out.” 

I smirked. On the way down here, her youngest was scolding that poor rabbit for about 5 miles. “So, Perkins then?” 

“Yes, please,” Phil responded. “I'm not sure what that is, but if there is food, let's go.” 

I laughed, “Sorry, 'round here it's a common household name. Yes, it's a restaurant.” A car was following closely behind us, I glanced at Nola who seemed uneasy. 

“Is there more security behind us?” I asked as casually as I could. 

“Yes,” was what Hank responded. 

“Sorry, we are not used to being followed. For us, that is out of place. Had to make sure.” I responded. 

“Sorry,” Dan said. “We are so used to it, It never occurred to me that it may be concerning to someone else.” 

“Well, at least now I don't have to get us lost trying to lose them,” Nola muttered. 

“Not that you couldn't though.” 

“Avery, shut up, okay?” 

“Yes, ma'am.” 

“Is this what we sound like?” Dan asked Phil. 

“Maybe.” 

“You've known each other half the time that we have,” I said. "If you don't, you will in 10 years,” Nola smirked. 

We were seated at a table, Dan and Phil on one side, Nola and I on the other. Hank and the other security team members were seated in booths around us. 

“Get what you'd like,” I said to Dan and Phil. "Do you guys need to eat?" I called over to the security team. 

"No," Hank said, "We're fine, ma'am." 

“Thanks, it was really nice to include us all. Even our team," Dan said, motioning behind him 

“Yeah, this is all very kind of you both,” Phil said. 

I blushed. “Ah, yeah.” 

“Phil, stop,” Dan whispered. 

“So,” Nola asked, breaking the tension. “Fortnite, huh?” She had heard me talking about Phil's victory tweet and must have remembered. Thank God she remembered. 

“Yeah, haven't had a chance to play in a while, world tour and all,” Phil responded. “Do you game?' 

“I do. Not Fortnite.” 

“Oh?” 

“Not my style.” 

Phil looked at me “Do you game?” 

“Well, I sure try. I am not very good, but I enjoy it.” 

“Fortnite?” 

“Nope, sorry. I'm A PUBG kiddy” I laughed “Trust me, I know it's bad.” 

“I like PUBG somewhat,” Dan said. “Just... so much desync.” 

“Oh, don't I know it.” 

Menus were brought to the table; the server came back with drinks. Nola, Dan, and Phil continued their conversation. I smiled and listened. I couldn't believe this was happening. Nola nudged me. 

“You okay?' she whispered 

“Yes. I am old and tired.” 

Phil laughed. “How old is old?” 

“Phil!” Dan scolded “You don't ask women their ages.” 

“Why?” I asked, “Women who get all uptight about getting older, need to chill the fuck out. The alternative is death. So.” 

Nola scowled at me. “Avery, stop.” 

“What? You know how I feel about this.” 

“I know, but really? Now?” 

“You either get old or you die.” 

“I know, I know.” 

“We're both over 30,” I said. Thankfully, the server had decided to come over to take our order at that moment, after they had gone, I looked at Phil. He had ordered a giant stack of pancakes. 

“Don't you ever get sick of eating pancakes? I mean, good lord man.” 

“Nope, never. You don't like them?” 

“Oh, I like them just fine, just once in a while and now even less. We can't eat many carbs or much Gluten” 

“Oh,” He had said. 

“We refer to our medical conditions like they are Pokémon,” Nola said. 

“Acid reflux disease, I choose you!” I said, smirking at her. 

They didn't respond to that, but I wasn't sure how they would. It took a while to get accustomed to Nola and my "strange." 

“Sorry, we took up your evening,” Dan said a short time later. 

Nola laughed. “Well, typically she is asleep at this time, but I can assure you, there is nowhere Avery would rather be." 

“Nola!” I hissed. 

“It's true, Av,” 

“I get it,” Dan said. 

“Yeah,” I said. “This is the strangest small talk conversation I have ever been a part of,” I laughed. “Like, is this real life?” 

“It better be,” Phil said, “I really want those pancakes.” We all laughed. 

After we had eaten and paid, we were making our way back to Nola’s car when Dan said. 

“We should take pictures together.” 

“Should we?” 

“Well, if you want. I would like to tweet about Wisconsin hospitality.” 

“Wa-scon-sin.” I corrected. “It's not West-con-sin.” 

“Avery, stop it.” 

“Well, I want them to know how to say it properly!” 

Dan laughed, “Noted, so here?” We all gathered in frame and took a few shots, first with his phone, then with Nola's. 

“You're okay that we tweet this?” 

I looked at Nola, she nodded. “You remember how crazy I told you the Phannies get, right?” Both Dan and Phil nodded emphatically. 

“Yeah, I think I can handle it.” 

“Okay, then yeah, we're good.” 

The drive back to their bus was mostly quiet, I was trying not to fall asleep. As much as Nola had roasted me while we were eating, It wasn't untrue. When we arrived, we walked them back to their bus. 

“Well, looks liked you're good,” Nola said. 

“Thank you both so much. We had such a good evening.” Phil said. 

“You're welcome, honestly though, it was no trouble.” 

“We are going to remember this night when we are old ladies rocking on a porch,” Nola said and I nodded in agreement. 

“Have a safe trip to your next destination,” 

“Thanks,” Dan said, holding his arms out. I hugged him, then Phil. 

When we had said our final goodbyes, we walked reluctantly back to the SUV, I could tell Nola was as sad the night was over as much as I was. 

“It was really the best birthday present in the world for this to have happened,” 

“Yeah, I know. I am never topping this, you realize.” 

I laughed, “I am just thankful you took me to see the show in the first place, this was just a delightful bonus” Suddenly our phones started to chime. “I guess they tweeted.” 

“Two gracious Wisconsin ladies took care of and fed us tonight when our bus had a malfunction, locking all of our wallets inside. Thank you, Avery and Nola. We hope when we have been friends for 20 years, we are just like you.” And there was the picture, Dan, Phil, Nola and I. 

“Holy shit,” I muttered. 

“We're Twitter famous.” 

“For now, yeah.” 

I replied to Phil's Tweet. “You nerds will never be as cool as we are, but keep trying. (Ps: You're welcome.) “ 

"We probably are going to want to turn off our notifications for a while.”  
“Yeah, probably.” 

“This is unreal.” 

“This is going to be a story for parties for sure.” 

“If we ever go to parties again, we don't have any other friends.” 

“Will we had better make some and get invited to parties. We pretty much have too now, we have an epic story,” 

I laughed, “I love you, Nola,” 

“Love ya too.”

**Author's Note:**

> This story is really a nod to my best friend, she really did take me to II for my birthday last year. We have been through so much together and I am blessed to have her in my life.  
I love my BFF BFFL forever and ever.  
This is cheesy and really far fetched, but it's a fun little story and I hope you enjoyed it.  
Come visit me on tumbler: Septic84
> 
> Bingo Card:  
Pancakes


End file.
